Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sweet Hug from Heaven
Why do we have to endure pain and trials?? I am really getting frustrated with the interviewing thing and countless applications. Heavenly Father already knows which school is going to hire me so why can't I just be led in the right direction instead of pursuing every avenue. I sometimes wonder if He is ever going to answer my prayers about working full time. It is so hard waiting and trusting that everything will actually work out.
But then, there are those special moments where you just know that He really is listening. A sweet little hug from heaven that reminds you that life is good and He is near. I had one of those moments today.
I was driving up to a second interview. I was excited but not exactly hopeful. The only reason I was being interviewed again was because I called the school (charter) to ask them about what happened with my first interview. Well, I learned they lost my resume and if I wanted to be considered, I would have to bring them another one. Great. I obviously didn't make a wonderful first impression. I wasn't sure if this school was worth pursuing (right now, I'm ready to quit on pursuing all schools because it isn't working out--at least not on my time table!) and last night I was a crying mess. (My poor darling sweetheart!!!) Then I had the thought that I have a second chance at a first impression! You don't really get those very often so maybe, just maybe loosing my resume could be a good thing.
After all, I have learned so much about charter schools now and just interviewing in general. This school I was driving to was the first one I interviewed with and since that first interview a little while ago, I have continued to interview with other schools and even toured a different charter school. I actually took the time to write my Philosophy of Education. While filling out a different application, I realized that schools want more than just my resume because that school required a whole long list of things. Maybe this 2nd interview charter school will want to read my Philosophy of Education. Maybe they would want my whole packet of papers as well. Maybe, just maybe, all the countless interviews I've had and cover letters I have stumbled through have made me stronger. Just a little bit more confident, just a little brighter smile, just a little more teacher and a little less lost. It is when I realize this that I don't question all the struggles I face because I learned from them and became better for it.
And then as I experience my sweet little hug from heaven, I remember that Heavenly Father really is always near--and so is the Savior. My hug came in the form of the radio. While I was driving up to my second interview, "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars came on. Now... every girl probably loves this song so maybe I wasn't the only one getting a hug from heaven. But only Heavenly Father could know how much it means to me. Casey sings it to me--to him, I am that girl. He tells me the best one word description about me is "AMAZING." By this point, my smile is glowing and I am feeling totally confident to rock this interview! I feel blessed to get a 2nd chance to prove I'm AMAZING to this charter school.
My hug got better though. As soon as that song ended, "Lucky" by Jason Mraz started. I squealed! A mere coincidence, I think not. But rather a huge tender mercy at a time when I needed it. So why does "Lucky" make me squeal? Because it is our wedding song and I truly am so very lucky to be in love with my best friend!
I walked into my interview today with all the confidence in the world and a smile so bright that you might need sunglasses inside. The principal was so impressed. After I answered a question, she would often respond with something how that was such a good idea. I heard that a lot. To be honest though... those "good ideas" of mine aren't just ideas but rather how I teach and who I am because of the experiences I have gone through.