I know I voted myself off the island. Or maybe the correct term here would be ranch since I was playing "The Biggest Loser" and not "Survivor." Anyhow...
For awhile, it seemed I forgot the whole point of loosing weight. It was all of the sudden becoming an obsession and I felt all sorts of pressure. I know. I know. The ONLY thing every single one of you has shown me has been nothing but love. But having bad weeks was hard enough for me to face and then it became worse as I had to admit it on here. And writing about it every single week was only making my obsession become stronger. I was scared I was becoming pre-anorexic. I had to do something to change because the whole reason I was doing this was to be healthy. And all of the sudden, the healthy destination was the last thing I was thinking about.
I needed time to sort through my feelings and motivation. And to reevaluate my lifestyle. Why was I willing to work so hard to begin with? Am I now willing to give that all up? How can I be happy and healthy? These questions and several others began to fill my mind and I had to figure them out. But in the process of sorting, I hit a major plateau. Honestly, I was ok with that. It was hard to face but the time was good. And it allowed my body to adjust to the new me. Additionally, we were moving during this plateau time. Eating out became more common because all of the kitchen stuff was packed and exercising was limited. This definitely played a part in all the questions I began to sort in my mind.
And now. Now, life is happy again. I think I have figured out all my questions. I feel confident and beautiful. That is big--me feeling it. I am keeping my focus on living healthy--not just being skinny. Plus, I am hoping I conquered my plateau. Next week can only tell. I still haven't decided if I will start posting weekly updates again or not. We'll see. I know several people enjoy reading them--I just don't want to fuel an obsession again.
Thanks for all of your love and patience!