Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Speaking the Same Langauge

There are many times when I am placed in a situation where I have no clue what is being said. I can hear a conversation but don't understand a bit. The best example in my life right now is when my students speak in Spanish... sigh... I wish I understood that language! I also remember when I was first learning American Sign Langauge. I would study and practice for hours yet when faced with someone actually carrying on a conversation, I was totally lost. And I remember listening to my husband and dad speak in computer terms. Yup basically as clear as Greek to me.

And speaking in general terms, I have discovered that this is often what happens with Love Langages. (Remember this *awesome* FHE idea about Learning Your Love Language? Make sure to check it out and figure out what your love language is!) We were given a copy of the "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman on audio CD for our wedding.  We have listened to it several times and I still learn from it when I listen to it again.  Not to mention it is funny listening to author speak with a slight Southern drawl.

Anyway, there are 5 Love Languages. (1) Words of Affirmation--which basically means you like hearing love, compliments, etc.  (2) Quality Time--in general means you like being with the person to feel love. (3) Receiving Gifts--not to be confused with materialism but you like to get thoughtful sweet things. (4) Acts of Service--doing things either secretly or publicly to help someone else's burden. And (5) Physical Touch--pretty much this person is a touchy, feely, huggy person.

One spouse speaks/ understands/ feels/ shows love in the language he/ she speaks. And yet often times, the other spouse doesn't receive or even acknowledge the efforts of love because he/ she understands love completely different. Most people have to make a huge effort to show love to their spouse in the language they speak. And it is hard often times because you are not comfortable with his or her language.

Casey and I are not exactly on the same page but pretty close.  We are unusual.  My highest love language is Quality Time followed right behind by Physical Touch.  I simply love being together!  Yesterday, Casey had to take a test at UVU (he got 82%!! whoot,whoot!!) and I wanted to go with.  I obviously could not go in the testing center with him but the hour car ride down and back we could be together.  It was a way that I could choose to be with him or I could choose to stay home.  I, of course, chose him because there was nothing else I had to do at home.  And, when we are together, I love holding hands, having his arm around me, sitting so close that our sides are touching, blowing kisses when he is across the room, etc.

But the best news is Casey's highest love language is Physical Touch followed immediately by Quality Time.  So when people see us together (which is often), they see us holding hands everywhere we go, giving about 3-4 goodbye kisses when we have to leave, trying to run errands together and then both pushing the basket, while riding in the car the passenger putting his/her hand on the driver's leg, etc.  Others look at us and comment "you guys still act like newlyweds" and it is our hope that we always will.  But that is how both of us feel loved--being together and being close!

I am curious to see if 10-20 years down the road our love languages change based on circumstances or if your love language stays the same regardless of what situations you are facing.... Only time can tell! :)

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