Friday, September 6, 2013

Second Chances

Everyone deserves second chances.
And third chances.
And seventy times seven chances. (Matthew 18:22)

Including me.
And maybe especially me.
Especially me because it is my reflection I see in the mirror.
And I am my hardest critic.
And it is me who needs to give myself another chance.

But I guess before I can give myself another chance, I have to want it. To want it so bad that I am willingly to put forth the required effort, the sweat, the tears, the sacrifice to get it. And trust me, I want it if it were given to me freely. But right now, I'm not sure if I'm willing to work for it.

It seems my life is a constant dieting/ healthy eating/ call-it-whatever-you-want food battle. Constant. The temptation to indulge in sweets never becomes easier--even when I'm eating extremely healthy. And sometimes I find the joy of indulging outweighs the joy of sticking to my weight loss goal.

But I'm working on finding the motivation again. The determination. The will power.

I haven't psyched myself up yet enough to jump back in, headfirst, to the eat healthy only lifestyle. But I'm working on it. Attending the free morning exercise class in my stake center was helping me find the motivation. But attending the class has presented another obstacle. My right knee is hurting again. A lot! And my left knee is hurting some. I had to stop attending the class in hopes of healing. But I do miss it immensely and can hardly wait to go back. (And in case you are a new follower around here... click HERE for the basic 411 about my knee situation.) 

And I'm hoping and praying and fasting and praying and taking medicine and praying and wearing my knee brace and PRAYING that my knees will heal. Ugh. They were both doing so much better. But now it seems to have nose-dived and the pain is more than I can handle on a regular basis--especially for not exercising at all for a week. I have an appointment to see my doctor again next week. He will likely refer me to a specialist. Knee surgery (possibly knees--both) seems like it might become a reality in the next month before my birthday.... The next month before I turn 26 and go off my parents insurance again (I went off when I was first married. Then was added back on. But now will be taken off for good.) Though I'm not going to stress out about the idea of surgery until I talk to my doctor.

For now though...
I'm just working on finding the motivation to take my ump-teenth chance.

This time around it will be different. Instead of just focusing on pounds lost and allowing that to become an obsession with my scale, I'm focusing on what I gain.

I'm thinking about reporting each week my progress. But again trying to determine if that will lead to an obsession or not. I do know that I will not be counting calories because mentally, I can not handle that! That is a complete, absolute, fanatical obsession of counting and recounting and stressing that I had too many!! I will be following a basic "Feel Great in 8" and the Word of Wisdom diet plan/ lifestyle. If I do report, I'm considering something along the lines of (1) pounds lost, (2) number of consecutive sit-ups and/or sit-ups in a minute, (3) push-ups --either consecutive or in a minute, (4) how the hardest part for me of FGI8 went the past week {for me the hardest part is only eating two treats per week} and (5) something positive I gained that week.

Self. Get ready. I need to just grab this new chance and run with it. (Not literally. Running is definitely not an option right now!)
And self. Be warned. Waiting until after the holidays (birthdays, Halloween, anniversary, Thanksgiving, December, Christmas) and the start of the new year is NOT an option.
Self. You. Can. Do. This. You can do hard things. You can reduce all the yummy seasonal treats. But you can still enjoy a few. You can reach your pre-preggers weight and ultimately your goal weight. I can do this. I can do this. I CAN do this!

Do I dare ask if anyone wants to join me?? To grab your new chance and to fight head on with me during the upcoming pack-on-the-pounds holiday season. I can explain the Feel Great In 8 lifestyle if anyone is curious and wants to try it....

Note to self: by asking for others to join and support me, I have to be committed. I have to be willing to fight for me. I have to find my will power. Don't ask for others if you can't do it yourself.  

3 comments:

Breanna said...

Lisa, it has been a while since we have spoken, but I have watched attentively the journey of motherhood and life experiences that you are on. I am on a similar journey and you inspire me. I can completely understand the pendulum of dieting, body bashing, and diets masquerading as "lifestyle changes" that you describe here. I experience this as well, but I wanted to offer a different way, a better way than dieting.

It's called Intuitive Eating and in a nutshell it is about relearning to listen to your God-given body's cues for hunger and satiety. It is about putting science of what foods are good and bad to the service of your God-given body, not making your body a slave to science with dieting schedules or portion planning. And the best thing, is that it has nothing to do with will power. Intuitive Eating will never tell you that you are weak because you cannot stick to the plan. I urge you, most strongly, to read the book "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Google the book and take a peek at their website. Visit my Intuitive Eating blog "endingthewar.wordpress.com" where I talk about rediscovering my intuitive eater and recover from an eating disorder.

Intuitive Eating will open your eyes to a better way of living, and really ending the battle with food and body for good. I wish you the best of luck.

Blessings, Breanna

Sierra Wrathall said...

Hehe(: I will totally join you!!! :D

Sierra Wrathall said...

Hehe(: I will totally join you!!! xD Start while I'm young :D