Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Heidi's Birth

I realized that I never finished telling Heidi's story. While she was still in NICU, I didn't want to write it. Writing it down would make it become concrete. I just wanted to wake up one morning and have it all just be a bad dream. And then once we were home, all the sudden my life changed with having two sweet hearts to take care of. (That wasn't as big of a shocker as I thought it would be. I think the anticipation of having two is much worse than actually having two!) But part of me still didn't want to write her story because I still wanted it to just be a bad dream--one that I would wake up from and not have to actually live through.

But reality set in. Heidi's less than ideal birth and NICU stay actually happened. Time has a way of healing though. I'm no longer living the bad dream but rather allowing it to become a distant memory.

Once morning came on October 1st, I turned to Dr. Google. I didn't really want to go back to the hospital claiming that my water broke and stay there for several hours just to have them send me home again. Everything I read pointed towards my water breaking. It wasn't a "gush" break but rather a "trickle" break. And the color was different. I later learned that that color would be described as "greenish" however, I would have never described it as being green. ("Greenish" means that Heidi passed the meconium before she was born.)

We go back to Riverton Hospital and wait again in triage. I was having contractions but nothing strong enough that I couldn't handle. My nurse didn't seem to know what she was doing and any time she did something medical (like IV, amniotic water breaking test) it would hurt!! Some of the tests were coming back positive and some were coming back negative. The nurse just wanted to send me home and say I was fine. I knew something had changed--the color if nothing else--so I nicely demanded that they talk to my doctor. My doctor had them do a different test and it came back positive so I was admitted to the hospital. 

My contractions continued to stay exactly where they were. They never got stronger or closer together. Pitocin was added through my IV but I still didn't progress. My amazing doctor was called again and he decided to come to the hospital and see what was actually going on. He decided that my water for sure broken but it was more like a tear break. So he broke it completely and he was the one that called it "greenish" meaning meconium. (My nurse had noticed the "greenish" color but she thought it meant that I had some infection. She thought that I should just get an antibiotic and go home. My guess is she was new and clueless because an experienced delivery nurse would have known what greenish meant.) After my water was broken, he went back to his office (located in Jordan Valley Hospital) to see some patients.

Once my water was completely broken, I basically dilated from where I was (about a 3) to a 10 in about 15 minutes. The contractions became super intense extremely fast. My nurse didn't believe me when I told her that something felt different and there was all sorts of pressure (meaning the head was trying to come out). She thought I just couldn't handle the pain. She basically told me that I had to get an epidural because I was a total wimp and I would still have many hours of dealing with contractions and the contractions I was experiencing were just the beginning. I didn't know what to do and so the anesthesiologist came in. It was brutal trying to sit through the contractions because instead of getting an epidural, I should have given birth. Literally. My doctor was well aware of how fast Devin had come and new that most likely this baby would be even faster (but he had no idea that Heidi would come as fast as she did) but the nurse wouldn't believe me.

I kept begging for help because my nurse wasn't doing anything. Casey didn't know what to do and he didn't realize how fast my body went through labor either. It wasn't until I was practically yelling and crying for help that my nurse finally decided to check me. She was shocked to say the least and frantically started getting things ready for birth. We had to wait for my doctor to drive back and I continued to keep begging for help. (There are a million things I would change if I could relive this. Demanding a different nurse would definitely be one!)

My doctor arrived and HE helped get things ready while putting on a yellow delivery gown. He sat down and my body was totally done waiting. Finally someone was going to help me! I started pushing and Heidi was literally born instantly at 1:37 pm. I think my doctor had been in my room for less than two minutes. I looked out the window the moment she was born and it rained. It was a sunny day but there was so random, tiny microburst cloud and it rained while she was born then stopped almost instantly.

Heidi cried softly three times while she was being passed to the respiratory team to try to suction her. Meanwhile, my doctor sees that I have a tiny first degree tear. He stitches me up and I wince every time. He said that he thought I had an epidural so he didn't give me any local anesthesia. The epidural didn't help--it wasn't in place long enough to even do anything. He offered to wait so the numbing could take effect. But I was tough and told him to just finish. I'm pretty sure I got 4 stitches and felt everyone.

Heidi was quickly placed on oxygen in my room. An accidental code blue was called (while my doctor was stitching me) and my room was instantly packed with hospital staff and doctors. My doctor was trying to help me stay calm. She kept dropping and it was quickly determined she would have to be life flighted. Heidi was not in my room very long. She was quickly taken up to get ready for her flight.

(This story will have to be continued later because Mr. Devin is awake....)

Monday, October 6, 2014

Heidi's Last Days in Heaven

Last picture of Devin as my only child...
At least only one on earth...
Heidi was still in Heaven. :)
Friday September 26
•36 weeks 5 days
• We went on a date and the heavy rain started while we were inside the restaurant.
• The sudden weather change caused a sudden change in me.
• Heidi "dropped" almost instantly and I felt all sorts of low pressure.

Saturday September 27
• 36 weeks 6 days
• I thought my water had broken in the afternoon.
• Constant contractions but not painful.
• In triage the nurse agreed that I was wet but all tests came back negative for amniotic fluid, including an ultrasound to measure the fluid amount.
• Dilated 3.5 cm, 60% effaced
• They had me walk for an hour only to have more water running down my leg.
• Retested for water breaking-all tests negative.
• Final conclusion: I have a ton of mucus and it was extremely watery.
• Watched Women's Conference in my room.
• Released.
Before we left for the hospital on Saturday

Sunday September 28
• Full term-37 Weeks
• Contractions stopped
• Woke up in the middle of night but couldn't walk to the bathroom because I was extremely dizzy! I felt like I was surfing.
• Read the paper from being released from triage of when to return. Unfortunately, dizzy was not on there.
• Called on call doctor. Not sure what to do. Tried to go back to sleep.
• Stayed home from church.
• Had an "upset" tummy except I wasn't sick.
• Called the on call doctor. Diagnosis: my tummy was just fine. My body was just getting ready for labor. The goal was to stay hydrated!
Devin's attempt to help Baby Sister come out on Sunday evening.

Monday September 29
• 37 weeks 1 day
• Doctor's appointment
• Dilated 4 cm. 70-80% effaced.
• The previous appointment exactly 1 week before, dilated to a "generous" 1 (really it was zero) but thought to be softening.
• Doctor was amazed at how much I had changed in the week.
• He did not expect to see me at my next one week appointment.

Tuesday September 30
•37 weeks 2 days
• Slightly mild contractions but not doing anything or increasing
• I was ready to be done emotionally with the pregnancy. I have had a rather difficult 9 months--more emotionally than anything else
• Continued to pray that Heidi would be born as soon as she was ready and her lungs developed
• Sometime in the middle of the night started feeling a weird moisture sensation. It wasn't a gush by any means. In my sort of awake/ mostly asleep state it remind me of my period (sorry if that is tmi) but I didn't think much of it and continued to sort of sleep.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Heidi's Birth Stats

I keep getting asked for details with Heidi's birth. While finding time to write is nearly impossible, I will hopefully share the details slowly. :)

Birth Stats
Day Wednesday October 1
Time 1:37 pm
Weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces (currently she is 7 pounds 11 ounces)
Length 18.5 inches
Apgar 8.8 (this is a 1-10 scale. Anything over 8 is considered to be a "healthy" baby. Heidi's first minute on earth was great! But it dropped drastically after that)

She was put in oxygen in my room with in a couple if minutes after birth and then she kept getting worse. (I looked out the window and it was raining a she was born. Just a quick little micro burst that started and stopped quickly.) They wanted to get the respiratory team in my room but instead of just paging them, code blue was announced. Almost immediately the entire hospital staff was in my room. My doctor asked immediately what was going on and realized the code blue was an accident. He kept talking to me and tried to keep me calm.

Then I heard the person holding the oxygen on her say she was getting worse and would have to be life flighted. I lost it at that point and was sobbing hysterically. Moments later she and casey and the entire hospital staff were gone. And then my doctor was gone and my nurses. I was left all alone in the delivery room--with my tears and prayers.

(sorry for no pictures. We have very few pictures in my delivery room because nothing went according to what I had planned! And the few pictures that casey took are on the actual camera not my phone....)