Sunday, November 23, 2014

Finding Comfort in the Name Heidi


After deciding to name our daughter, Heidi, I completely forgot about the dream that inspired it. We just knew that would be her name and even called her that while I was still pregnant. However, we kept the name quiet and whenever anyone would ask, I would just say we weren't totally sure. And it was true. There was a slight chance she could be born and one of us hate the name Heidi for whatever reason and then we would figure out a different name.

Once Heidi was born and then taken from my room to get ready for life flight, I sat all alone in my room crying hysterically. I'm not even kidding about my tears or sobs--they were completely out of control. Like extreme tears. My nurse did not know what to do with me and she asked for a different nurse to come in and try to calm me down. The other nurse was much more compassionate but I was still a crying basket case. I think the pain of having her gone reminded me too much of a complete nightmare several years before. Plus at this point, I had no idea if she was even going to live. I only knew that she was born at 1337, code blue was called in my room, and she had to be life flighted. I didn't understand why she couldn't stay in the hospital I was in (it is a large hospital!). I didn't get why she had to be transported by the helicopter instead of an ambulance. All of these thoughts kept rolling around in my brain and I was sure it was extremely serious. I was so afraid that we were going to loose Heidi.

I just kept begging over and over to be allowed to be with Heidi. But I was bleeding much heavier than is normal and was not allowed to go up to be with her before life flight. Eventually I got a large shot in my leg and an extra bag of pitocin through my iv--both of these helped slow the amount of blood enough that I was able to leave the delivery room. And then I was finally able to see Heidi for a very short time frame before she left on the helicopter.

However, while I was sitting alone in the delivery room, crying hysterically, out of no where I randomly remember why we decided on the name Heidi. I am sure it was not random or coincidence but rather a tender mercy from Heavenly Father. I know the Holy Ghost helped me remember. (See John 14:26--it says that the Holy Ghost will bring all things to our rembrance. The word "all" is absolutely inclusive! It is not all things but this or that. No. The Holy Ghost helps us remember everything.)

Casey and I were messaging back and forth some. (He wasn't sure what was going on entirely and was talking with the life flight team and just watching everything in shock. Once Heidi was situated in NICU, we messaged/ face timed practically constantly while he was with her and I was still in the other hospital.) After this thought of my whiteboard dream, I instantly grabbed my phone and sent Casey a message with probably a million exclamation points behind his name. I told him I remembered why we chose the name Heidi--it was from my dream of teaching a little girl her name. I held to that thought dearly and it gave me the hope that Heidi would live. I didn't understand the timing or what was happening but I clang to that comfort of how we chose her name; I was going to teach my toddler her name. She had to live through this ordeal because I was going to teach her "Heidi" on a whiteboard.

I felt so very grateful and blessed to have such a sweet and much needed comfort at that time. Choosing a name is not something that I thought would have so much of impact on me. But it did. And I am so grateful for Miss Heidi!



Friday, November 21, 2014

Before the Sunrise

Before the sunrise.


I hold my Sweet Pea close to keep us both warm.
I hold her and we snuggle.
I hold the bottle at the perfect angle for her less than coordinated sucking.

I hear my Sweet Pea crying softly and growing louder.
I hear the soft bubbles as she drinks her warm milk.
I hear the her moans, squeaks, grunts.

I feel my Sweet Pea relax in my arms.
I feel the softness of her hair against my cheek while I pat her back.
I feel her cheeks against my lips as I give soft kisses.

I smell my Sweet Pea baby scent.
I smell the cleanliness from her bath and lotion.
I smell baby spit.

I see my Sweet Pea smile while she looks in my eyes.
I see her adorable baby face scrunched telling me she needs to burp.
I see my eyelids while I doze off.

I count my blessings.
I miss my bed.
I'm grateful to be a mommy.
I say my prayers.
I love my Sweet Pea.

All before the sunrise.




Saturday, November 8, 2014

The Name Heidi



Remember all of the teacher-in-me requirements I had for choosing a name for Devin? Well, they were still in affect for Baby Sister.

I was really thinking about the meaning of the name when making my list of girl names I liked. Simply because Devin's name means "Divine" and that was eventually the reason we decided on Devin--because of the meaning. Baby Sister needing something that was meaningful as well. So instead of making a list of any name, I researched what the names meant and they only made my name list IF they met all of my teacher requirements AND was meaningful.


Basically I decided that I wanted to name Baby Sister something that meant "Gift," "Gift from God," or "Miracle." I was also looking at things like "Determined" and "Fighter." She beat all the odds of my high risk pregnancy to begin with. I honestly didn't know if I would stay pregnant at times because of bleeding among other concerns. As time passed, I was still pregnant and I realized that this baby was meant to join our family and she was fighting hard to be here. By about the mid point of the pregnancy, there were no longer any complications and I was no longer high risk.

Fast forward to Baby Sister's less than ideal birth and she was continuing to be our miracle baby and truly fighting to join our family. The meaning of one of those names would have been perfect for our little Sweet Pea.


But we named her Heidi. And Heidi means "Noble." I like noble and it is meaningful but it was definitely not something I was even considering or searching for. I had made a list of names and was reading it to Casey regularly. He never made a list but was just listening to mine. I honestly can't remember the names on that list other than Michael means "Gift from God." Obviously I wasn't going to name my daughter Michael but we were looking at several female variations. Heidi was never on the list.

And now the big question, how did we decide on Heidi?


Sometime this past summer, after we found out the gender, I had a very simple dream. There were very few details and it was so brief. I was writing on a whiteboard that was near to the ground--like toddler height. I never saw myself, only my right hand. It was writing "Heidi" on the board and I saw a happy, calm yet spunky little girl with light brown hair watching me write it. I was trying to teach the girl her name. That's it. Nothing significant or big. I didn't even think much about it honestly and didn't tell Casey. Pregnancy dreams are so random and really don't mean anything at all.

A few weeks or so later, I was still thinking about this dream and briefly mentioned it to Casey in passing. The dream still did not mean much to me and as I told Casey about it, I told him that it was just a random dream and that it wasn't spiritual or anything. Casey's response was paraphrasing D&C 29:34, that all things are spiritual unto the Lord. Maybe my dream was more spiritual than I was giving it credit. So we just went with it. We both liked the name Heidi and it just felt right.


But I was still hesitant to decide on Heidi because I remembered hearing about a book or movie or some media that was named Heidi. I had never heard/ watched/ read "Heidi" but simply knew it existed. My concern was what if the character Heidi was not someone I wanted my daughter to be like, what if the character Heidi was a villain of some sort. We checked the movie out from the library and after that we just knew that Baby Sister would be Heidi. Devin knew too. He called my tummy both "Baby Sister" and "Heidi." We decided to wait to tell anyone the name until she was born though. I was worried that Devin would give it away and he said Heidi sometimes to others but no one had a clue what he was talking about and I did not offer my mommy interpreting skills.



And... the story continues once Heidi was actually born and her name... but this post is getting way too long so stay tuned for part two of The Name Heidi.... FINDING COMFORT IN THE NAME HEIDI


Maternity pictures were taken by the very talented Rebecka LeFoll. Holy cow, she is amazing!! :D


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Flood the Earth

Yesterday I only heard the last few minutes of Elder David A. Bednar's BYU Education Week Devotional on the radio. I'm excited for the text to be online so I can read the whole thing. But what I did hear touched my heart. I'm sure I could look up a direct quote of this already because it was a little gem that everyone seems to have grasped onto and ran with. But I will just share what I remember.

It's time to sweep the earth as with a flood. Not just a flash flood with a one time occurrence. But a flood to last.

Elder Bednar was talking about using social media to flood the earth for good. And something touched me. I can help flood the earth. I can help "Hasten the Work." 


I used to think that Hasten the Work meant missionary work. Trust me, I am by no means saying it is not important. But unless I was either serving as a full time missionary or being a go-getter, amazing member missionary, I was not helping to Hasten the Work. I know this is probably terrible but I almost didn't like inviting the missionaries over for dinner because it would normally result in one feeling--guilt. Why don't you know your neighbors better? Why don't you have a huge long list of people we can go teach? Missionary work is absolutely amazing but it's not the time in my life for it.

Recently, there has been a huge push in Family History work. And I realized that it is part of Hastening the Work. My parents were Family Search Missionaries. My mom loves doing family history and now that my sister is home from her mission, she has found my mom's enthusiasm for family history. And it is wonderful. I know that families are sealed together and we need to link the generations. But again, it is not the time in my life. I have a very determined, active two year old who needs practically constant supervision. Don't get me wrong, he is so kind and obedient. But his personality is GO and some days, it takes all my energy just to keep up with him.

And I would always feel bad that I wasn't doing my part to help Hasten the Work. I have a testimony. I absolutely love the comfort the gospel brings to my life. I'm grateful for the guidance the Holy Ghost offers me. I'm especially grateful for the love of my Savior and His sacrifice of the Atonement. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints literally means everything to me. But I couldn't help Hasten the Work because Hasten the Work meant missionary service. And Hasten the Work also meant family history.

But yesterday as I was driving home in our car, the windshield wipers going and Devin begging for chicken nuggets and fries, Elder Bednar's words touched my heart. I can help Hasten the Work by participating in the social media flood. More than that though, the spirit told me exactly what I needed to hear.

I am Hastening the Work everyday of my life by sharing being an example to the most loving and independent two year old I know. I'm Hastening the Work within my own home. And for now, that is enough and it is what I'm meant to be doing. I'm meant to be a mother to help perfect the saints... to help perfect the little saints... to help Hasten the Work... to help Flood the Earth!!



Sunday, July 27, 2014

Redefining Love

For some reason this has been on my mind for awhile. Probably because I still have so much more to learn. But I have decided that I really don't know what love is--the love that Casey and I share. 

I thought I knew.

Love was staying up late, a first kiss, holding hands, becoming engaged.
Love was wearing my wedding dress, kneeling in the temple, being sealed for time and eternity.
Love was having someone to come home to after class, a study buddy.
Love was going on dates, sitting together, holding hands, kissing my best friend.
Love was celebrating accomplishments, finding a new job, moving together.
Love was two little blue lines on the pregnancy test, bringing our baby home from the hospital.
Love was buying our first home.

But I was wrong. Love is those things. But it is not only those things. It is so much deeper.

Love is learning to fight together for a purpose instead of against each other.
Love is taking a timeout when frustrations arise then coming back together again.
Love is pleading with Heavenly Father for our needs to be taken care of.
Love is counting pennies ump-teen times hoping they stretch just a little further.
Love is clinging to each other when everything else tries to rip us apart.
Love is facing this unpredictable life together.
Love is deeper today than it was yesterday and deeper tomorrow than today.
Love is change.
Love is constant.
Love is eternal.

Love is something I still can't define. Love is something I hope to understand in 5 more years... maybe 50 or 60.



Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Fortune Cookie Tender Mercy

Last Saturday I decided to make Chinese food. After dinner, I noticed the fortune cookie on top of our microwave. Allow me just to say that this cookie has been sitting there for months.

As I read my fortune, the timing was perfect. Not that I really put much belief into random fortune cookies. But this one was like a little tender mercy.


Allow me to explain my dearest wish.

Sometime near the beginning of this year, Casey's job cut out all overtime. I thought we were budgeting under so all of his overtime money could be saved. I thought wrong. All of the sudden, we had a giant budget cut. We were already living so simply, there wasn't anything else to cut out really. But his company promised that they would do performance reviews soon and promised a huge raise.

We kept waiting and praying for that raise. For some reason, we had our own definition of huge--enough to cover the overtime loss for starters. (And he wasn't working that many hours overtime!) Eventually the raise came and his company had their own definition of huge--50 cents. There was no way that this was going to continue to work. But Casey was right in the middle of the semester and didn't have time to think about dealing with a change.

When he initially accepted the job, we were thrilled because it was A JOB! I had already quit my job but Casey didn't have anything to replace it. And we were desperate. At the time of acceptance, we knew it was a very low paying job but it was his only offer. And any job was better than none. He was hired with the promise he could work as much overtime as he wanted and they would get performance cash bonuses every paycheck. (Both of these policies changed once his company was bought out.)

The semester ended with a 4.0 GPA (Congrats, Honey Bunny!!!). And we knew change had to happen. The change was not going to be a huge pay raise at his current job. So we started searching for new jobs. I would look for anything that I thought was even remotely related to his AS degree and a possible internship swap for his BS degree. I kept emailing him possibilities then he would sort through them as well as search himself and apply for everything that he was actually qualified for.

Sometime near the start of last week, Casey heard back from one of the applications he submitted and wanted to schedule an interview. That interview was one week ago yesterday. I wasn't holding my breath. Likely there would be several more interviews at various different companies--at least that has been our track record. He said the interview went so well and he they were impressed. We prayed.

The next morning (last Thursday), we know they emailed his references. That afternoon, he was trying to figure out where to email a follow-up thank you letter. During his searching and trying to remember all the names of people who interviewed him, he received an email from one of the supervisors requesting a second interview. Casey was excited and scheduled his second interview for Monday morning.

I ate the fortune cookie in between his first and second interviews.

All Monday morning, I am dying to hear how it went. He finally comes home with an answer to that fortune cookie. They offered him two jobs on the spot! I couldn't believe it! TWO jobs--they wanted Casey to choose which one he would like better. I know the fortune cookie is a little thing but it meant a lot to me. A reminder of Heavenly Father's love for us.

Yesterday Casey signed his acceptance letter and submitted his two weeks notice! Wahoo! We feel so blessed. So very, very blessed and grateful. And deeply loved by Heavenly Father. I know He really does hear an answer every prayer--sometimes it takes months of waiting with lessons to be learned in the process. But I know He is mindful of us.

We continue to pray that the next two weeks will transition smoothly. That somehow switching insurance and the timing of pay checks will work out miraculously. And I know that somehow it will--even if its not what we expect right now!


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Reaching for the Savior

Sacrament today with our little one proved to be a memorable experience. Somehow when the bread gets passed to us, Devin seems to forget all patience and wants to grab a whole fistful. Thankfully I was able to intercept and he only took one piece of bread. But it was immediately followed by a loud begging for more.

As the water tray approached, my little boy turned into an octopus. I'm not kidding. Somehow his two tiny arms are mass multiplied into eight lightning speed hands reaching for all the cups. I'm trying to contain his arms and take the tray while the only thing I can think about is water spilling everywhere. Thankfully we managed. We each drank one little cup, put it back and were able to pass the tray on with only a few drops of water on my skirt.

Honestly, I didn't think much more about it. But then our brand new Bishop (sustained today) stood up to share his testimony. He talked about how he saw little Devin reaching for the sacrament as we tried to stop him. He related it to how we all need to be reaching toward the Savior and how he hoped Devin would always keep reaching for Him.

Our Bishop's words touched my heart. And reminded me that the Sacrament is not about containing an almost two year old octopus but rather me personally reaching for the Savior and letting Him in my life.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Surprise!

Hi Mommy and Daddy's friends! This is Devin. Mommy is too busy playing with me to write very often. And seeing how the blog is just collecting dust, I didn't think she would mind if I shared a post with you. I even used my own computer!


For awhile now, I had a secret wish. I wonder if Mommy was beginning to catch on when she wrote the post called "Baaae-bee" Obsessed. Babies are just so cute. Every time I would see a baby or even an infant car seat, I made sure to point it out to Mommy hoping that maybe someday she would get the hint.

Mommy and Daddy have taught me to pray. And I started praying every day for a baby hoping that Heavenly Father was listening.

I know I will be a great big brother. I share my Cheerio's and milk with Elmo. I love playing with diapers while I get changed. I teach Baby about using the potty. I help pick up my toys. I know how to put away the dirty clothes. I read books to all my stuffed friends. And I can even climb up in the car seat by myself. These are definitely all requirements for being a big brother.

Plus, I know Mommy will have extra time to take care of a baby because I can put my shoes on by myself. And I insist the only way to eat is if I do it myself. See. Now Mommy will be able to dress a baby and feed it because I am independent.

Mommy and Daddy told me they have a surprise! In just a few short months, or so they say... it seems like such a looooong time to me, I will have my own baby to kiss and cuddle. My own baby to wrap up in a blanket. My own baby to show off to everyone else in the store. I can hardly wait to be a family of four.


Monday, February 10, 2014

Spiritually Filled by Stake Conference

Yesterday we had the opportunity to attend our Stake Conference. I did not have the ability to take notes because I had a charming toddler sitting on my lap. Sometimes I didn't even have a chance to pay attention because I was trying to keep said charming toddler quiet by whispering something in his ear. And because we were watching the conference broadcast style, sometimes the sound went out all together.

Some may wonder why we even bothered to go. Or wonder if it was worth the work to stuff my gigantic college-sized backpack with every religious board book we own, LDS coloring pages, Baby (to set a good example for Devin), random quiet toys, and enough snacks to feed probably half the people in attendance. Some may wonder what the point was to Stake Conference if I knew I would get so little from it.

I know the easy guess would be to teach Devin that we always go to church, even when it is not convenient. But that's not why I went. That's not why I packed a backpack with everything but the kitchen sink.

It's a selfish reason really. I went for me!

I went to be uplifted and inspired. I went because I needed my spiritual gas tank to be refilled. I went because I love the Lord. 

And I was so deeply blessed.

Thinking back to the talks, some I can't remember what was said at all. The others, I remember maybe a phrase or two. So all together, I got a few good thoughts. But really I got so much more.

I was blessed with the spirit. I was blessed with an outpouring of love from my Heavenly Father. And that love spread through me to my son. I was blessed with the strength to endure trying times. I was blessed with the power of prayer and the hope of peace. I was blessed with faith. I was blessed in my ability to be a mother and blessed to know how to teach my sweet, charming toddler the things of God. I was so blessed and Stake Conference truly was worth every sacrifice.

And I was especially blessed with a reminder of my favorite missionary story in the Book of Mormon. No one talked about this story. But as my Stake President shared his favorite missionaries in the Book of Mormon, the spirit reminded me of mine. And I hope and pray that someday my favorite story could be told of me as well.


My absolute favorite missionary story right now is one that I can relate to so perfectly. The mothers of the stripling warriors. Think about it. They taught their sons with faith and power and righteousness. Their sons became converted to the gospel and valiant in their actions because the mothers shared their testimonies on a regular basis. There is no way the stripling warriors could have become "stripling" with one brief testimony or one Stake Conference attended. They became who they were because of the daily virtuous example of their noble mothers--the best sister missionaries.

Someday.... Someday I truly hope that Devin will have a similar testimony because of my example. And I have so much work and areas I need to improve. But someday I pray that he will be my greatest missionary experience.


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Where PB&Js Belong

I have not made Devin a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for a while because he didn't like them. But I decided to try again because PB&Js are supposed to be an American kid staple.

After saying the blessing, Devin looked at his sandwich pieces. He took a lick and put it back on his plate. I kept encouraging him to eat. He instead played with it. He pulled it apart. And eventually he threw each piece on the ground. 

Devin is really good about keeping food on his plate. Sometimes food ends up on the ground but it is on accident. "Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." No uh-oh was said the sandwich fell downward. It was more like he was proud of himself.

As soon as I let him out of the booster seat, he immediately wanted his broom and dustpan. He quickly placed a piece of the PB&J on the dustpan and immediately told me "gar-bge." What? He is supposed to eat the sandwich--not throw it away. But he walked straight to the garbage can and put the sandwich where it belonged. He repeatedly told me "gar-bge" the whole time.

Peanut butter and jelly = American kid staple? Ha! Not my kid! The only thing a PB&J is good for is a trip to the garbage can.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

"Baaae-bee" Obsessed

First of all--no, its not me. I'm not the one obsessed with babies. And just so there is no confusion, we are not pregnant and this is not an announcement.

Now... with that being said... Allow me to introduce you to who is baby obsessed.


My sweet Mr. Devin. He is absolutely in love with his "baaae-bee!" I put Baby away for Christmas time because there were plenty of toys and other festive things to explore. And then after Christmas, Baby continued to stay put away because he had new toys to play with.

A couple of days ago, Devin found Baby and has refused to put him down since. I'm almost serious. The pictures above are just a few of the thousands I could have taken. He pushes Baby up and down our living room and kitchen in his wagon. This kept him occupied for probably 1/2 hour. Yesterday for breakfast, Baby had to sit with him in the high chair so he could share his banana. But just sitting together quickly became inadequate. Devin had to hug Baby the whole time he ate. He reads to his baby. He gives the baby a blanket. He shares all of his toys with baby. He gives the baby kisses. He teaches baby how to play with the "choo-choo" and "truk." 

When we run errands, his eyes light up with excitement when he sees a baby car seat or better yet the baby inside the car seat on the basket. And he lovingly and loudly declares "baaae-bee" over and over.

It melts my heart to see his sweet tender side. Someday... (refer to the very first statement of this post) he will be an amazing big brother!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Mission Mommyhood Plaque

Yesterday I read the last email from my sister as a missionary. Tomorrow I will see her at the airport. And she will be reporting on Sunday. It will be a busy/ exciting/ possibly tear filled weekend!

But her email made me think about my mission--Mission Mommyhood. (BTW: If you haven't read that post... you should! It's one of my favorites!) How have I served in the past 19 months, 1 week and 6 days? How have I taught Baby Bunny? How have I grown?

19 months and 2 weeks ago, I was still pregnant... still in the "MTC." We reported to the hospital early. And I have never been the same since!


Before my tiny Baby Bunny was even born, I knew I would love him. But I have watched that love grow exponentially each day of his life.

Before my tiny Baby Bunny was born, I had a strong testimony of the Atonement. But through the struggles of life and trying to learn how to raise (and sometimes even cope with) Devin, that has also grown so much. I have learned to rely on my Savior when Devin is driving me nuts and no one is around to help. I have learned to let my Savior into my life when Devin was full of giggles so He could celebrate with us.

Before my tiny Baby Bunny was born, I listened to the Holy Ghost. But now I have learned to follow Its promptings without question. And to pray for Its constant companionship. I need the guidance and support to keep Devin safe, to stretch our pennies, to serve others.



I finally decided to make me a "Mission Plaque." I chose my picture because that is where it all began--in the House of the Lord on my wedding day. And the scripture is just perfect for my mission as a mommy. In case you can't read the verse, it is D&C 64:33.

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for you are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great."


Sunday, January 19, 2014

The Best Thing I Taught Devin...

It's hard to pick just one.

Because I could easily say hugs and baby kisses are the best. Or the way that he puts his own shoes away now (and sometimes even mine... hee,hee,hee). And I just love how he can basically feed himself now. Not to mention that he keeps his arms folded the entire time we pray (at least more often than not now) and he says "aaah-min" when the prayer is over. And we can't forget that he can point to and say "Be-sus" any time he sees a picture of Christ.

Actually when I stop and think about it, Devin has learned so much from my example and day to day life. It is almost crazy how much that kid has learned.

But.

The very best thing he has learned so far...? I would definitely have to pick him knowing how and staying put in time out. Sounds funny. But I'm serious.

By the way, this was not an easy lesson for him to learn. We would count his poor behavior. "That's 1." No change. "That's 2." No change. "That's 3, you are in time out." I would walk him to timeout and he thought it was a game.

Truthfully, for awhile it really did seem like a game. Sometimes I would be so frustrated. And others I couldn't hold in the giggles. Both seemed to encourage Devin. And timeout really was becoming a game. I would put him in, he would come out. I would walk him back and sit him down and he would come out. Back and forth.

We were consistent though. And Casey was actually the strong one. Thank goodness for his support. We kept putting him back. As he went back the time would increase. If he came out early or released himself, I put him back and then he had to stay longer. Eventually something miraculous happen. He stayed. All by himself. Without me telling him to stay and without me walking him back. He just stayed.

And this is the absolute best thing he has ever learned because he gets the concept at any location.

My grandma's house he was going to break something. He got a warning and I distracted him with other toys. But eventually kept going back and I put him in time out. He stayed. Even though he was surrounded by unfamiliar objects to explore. He stayed! Or when we were at the library checking out DVDs. Devin wanted to help choose a DVD and he started pulling them all off the shelf then trying to open the cases. Obviously this was not going to work. So I sat him down and told him to stay. And he did. The entire time I browsed the DVD collection.

I almost feel like my little boy is a puppy dog in obedient school. "Stay." But I'm so grateful the concept finally clicked. And I'm grateful that he has a natural desire to be obedient!


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Celebrating Easter Today

I just love today. I had to share. 

Minutes ago I woke up with a giant grin on my face and a huge squeal in my heart. I lay in bed, silently soaking in my excitement while my handsome husband snores softly beside me.

I just love, Love, LOVE today. And I love one week from today. And the week after that.

I love Sunday!

And it is hard to pick a favorite day because I enjoy taking Devin to the library or watching him slide down the play land equipment or feeling his joy as we ride the "choo-choo." But we don't do any of those things on Sunday. And yet it is still my favorite.

Once a year the calendar will say "Easter" on a particular spring Sunday. Chocolate, Easter eggs, pastel colors, new church clothes, Easter Bunny.

But Easter is so much more than that. Easter is my Savior lovingly suffering for my sins and trials. Easter is Him dying on the cross for me. Easter is especially Him rising from the tomb three days later. Easter is the promise that I can be forgiven. Easter is the hope of eternal life.

But really the calendar doesn't get it. Because Easter is today. And Easter is next Sunday. And Easter is every Sunday that I can take the Sacrament.

The Sacrament. That's why I woke up so eager and thrilled.

As I worthily partake of the Sacrament, I remember Christ's atoning sacrifice and I renew my baptismal covenants. Think of it. In just a few short hours I will be pure and white and clean again. Just like that day in October when I came up from the water. All of the little blemishes and eraser marks on my soul in this past week will be healed completely. And I am blessed with a fresh start.

Then in the coming week, I will remember Him and stand as a witness. And I will keep the commandments. But somehow through it all, life happens. And I know I will make mistakes which will mark my soul again. And I will repent which will leave the eraser mark. But I will continue to live for the next Sunday and the Sunday after that so I can celebrate Easter in my heart as I partake the Sacrament.

I just love today!
Even with a toddler who has brought a whole new change to my personal reflection time.
I still love Sunday because I love the Sacrament. 
And I love the Sacrament because I love my Savior.